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Inquisitor Zacharias my latest creation - WestGamer
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:52 pm 
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Seeing as the fan fictions always so quite I decided to create yet another character to write about, once more I hope you like him and any feedback would be great and appreciated, enjoy! 8)

Escaldor 567.M41, beneath the Mausoleum City of Joshida in the Catacombs of the Forgotten

The Inquisitorial forces moved like ghosts down crumbling stairwells and stone corridors, over forty sanctioned operatives were scouring the catacombs for the cult of the Ebon Shadow as they performed their supposed summoning ritual, the Inquisition was taking no chances in case it turned out to be a legitimate daemonic summoning, hence the operatives desperately searching the sprawling 300 kilometers of corridors, vaults and crypts which due to the minerals of construction buffeted auspex and bio-scanner readings forcing the manual searching of the catacombs, three hours in and so far no trace had been found, there was only an hour left before the ordained time as reveals by prisoners for the summoning to be complete. Inquisitor Zacharias Kudun was not a happy man as he strode through the crumbling corridors his dark grey storm coat blending in with shadows as he stalked towards his quarry, the sword on his back twitched in its sheath eager to be released, with a pulse of will the inquisitor calmed the blade, he understood its impatience, the vox came to life so suddenly it seemed deafening in the silent corridors
++Contact! We have contact! Throne it’s legit! Holy- All operatives rendezvous on coordinate’s 3-Alpha-Quadrant-Tertius now! Request immediate backup! + + it was the Kasrkin Nolen judging by the voice, Zacharias burst into an almost gleeful sprint; at last they had found the quarry.

20 Years earlier, Kantar Major, Hive Braxus

Explosions, dust, screams, the statacco roar of weapons, the hive was blanketed in the chocking fog of war. Chaos forces had broken through the curtain wall and were even now baying at the gates of the inner hive spire. Bleeding and covered in dust and gore Hive Governor Marius slammed another clip into his smoking bolter as he roared orders into his comm-link over the thunderous booming of the artillery barrage that sent dust and debris raining down from the once ornate ceiling.
“How long before the airspace is clear?â€


Last edited by olly on Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:44 am, edited 6 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:40 am 
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Ah, cultists getting gored, gunshots, combat, an interesting flashback, what more does it need?

Well, maybe a puppy :P . :lol:

Nice work again.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 4:46 pm 
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how much more soonish will we have to wait???

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 11:42 am 
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Thanks guys! and yeah I changed it as it does make it easier to read, also added some more 8)


Last edited by olly on Wed Jan 24, 2007 3:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 11:52 am 
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you should just update the first one so we can read the whole thing reads easier

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 12:36 pm 
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I dont care how he does it alsong as he keeps going. olly p you rock


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:28 pm 
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Another update and it looks like this is going to be quite a long story arc all good hopefully! :wink: I just going to update the first post as yeah its easier to read, well enjoy and more soon! 8)


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:29 pm 
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awsome, thanks for the good read

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:22 am 
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Well I've managed to write a fair bit more mainly backstory hope you all like and enjoy and any plot suggestions would be welcome as I need ideas!

Enjoy 8)


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:06 pm 
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Is it just me, or are you adding the next part onto the first post? I must admit, it's been a while since I've looked at it, but it appears much longer than last time.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:45 pm 
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Yer hes adding to his first post


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:58 pm 
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Yep as it does make it easier to read and anyone who's just starting to read it can do without scrolling through all the posts.

I should hopefully have some more up sometime today as I feel inspired to write, it is quite lengthy now (9 pages in word!) though and I've barely scratched the main plot yet :?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:43 am 
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Well this is the suspensful ending to this part of the story :roll: I'll be starting the next part in a new thread as it will break down easier for readers, the next installment (once I do a decent amount) will be pretty much all action goodness so until then!


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